Sometime around 3 a.m. on Thursday night, winding my way around a discoteca (palacio, for those of you in the know), hanging onto Virginia's hand, I had a moment of clarity; this was what I came back to Spain to do, and even though it feels weird again right now, I'm doing what I need to do...and starting to ::gasp:: enjoy it.

Virginia is 24 and works with me in the colegio - we teach art class and computer class to the 1st graders together in english (she speaks very well). I knew from the first day I met her that I wanted to get to know her better - she's closer to my age than most of the other teachers, and I could tell from her manner that wewould probably get along: she's very low maintenance, loud, and has a good sense of humor (without being happy-go-lucky). So when I told her I might be going out on thursday with my roommate, she said she would definitely be in madrid for the night and we had to meet up. I was so exhausted that night from working with the kids all week that I knew it would be better to stay in and rest up, but I wanted to convince myself otherwise - I spend enough time alone in my room inside my apartment as it is. When I called her to say I wasn't even dressed yet and not sure I was going out, she wouldn't hear of it (in typical spanish fashion, and this is perhaps one of the things I was looking for from this year, and certainly from her). I ended up meeting up with her and her group of friends from her little hometown, AND a couple of their friends, including a french guy (ho was hysterical) and belgian guy who was both ridiculously beautiful and ridiculously out of my league. We were singing and eating until 2:30 when we went to Palacio (I got us in for cheap with some student discount club deal, which made them happy) and danced until 6:30. Then of course out for churros, where I got to sit on the belgian's lap because (boo-hoo) there was no seat left for me. They were a good bunch of people, very amiable, good humored, got along well with each other and made me feel comfortable even though I'd just met them and they've known each other all their lives.

Since I went to bed at 8 a.m on friday (after showering that icky smoke smell out of my hair and skin - cuz it makes you wanna puke when you wake up to it), I basically spent the day resting. On saturday I took my roommate Elodie and her boyfriend to Segovia to tour them around. We didn't actually see that much cause we got there late and left early (relatively speaking), but they saw the main drage and the main sights. It sort of felt like I was cheating them, because from my perspective Segovia get more beautiful the more time you have to spend just wandering around - but I let it go with them. It doesn't have to mean the same thign for everyone, right? We all went out to a rugby game, where unfortunately the French team lost (bummer).

Just getting out, spending time with new people, and having a good time doing it was reassuring. Because even though I've done this before, as I've said - this time is different. I needed to prove to myself that the reasons I chose to come back here still make sense. And it seems like, so far, so good. I even feel like I appeciate my little room here in the apartment more. It feels more like home, and I feel more settled in it.

And today at school Virginia told me her friends had fun and liked me, and that we'll have to do it again...